Finding beauty in the unexpected

Sometimes, our most unexpected and unplanned moments are the most beautiful ones.

Let that settle.

I am a planner at heart. And I also struggle with anxiety in some capacity. This makes it easy for me to fall into the planning trap, where I imagine every situation I could find myself in, seek to prepare myself, and come up with a million and one solutions that I already know I probably won’t remember. And then, I have a false sense of peace, feeling like I have control over things that I haven’t even encountered - and probably never will.

As for uncertain situations - let’s not even go there. All I can say is that uncertainty leaves me reeling, questioning, begging for answers, and feeling utterly alone and unsatisfied when I realize there are none.

Recently, God has been speaking a truth that resonates within my soul, one that challenges me to reframe the way I think about my circumstances and grace myself with a little more peace in the process. And He began to hammer it home with one particular incident.

I had been asked by one of my friends to participate in an interview for a publication on campus. I told her I was interested and then confirmed that I would be happy to participate, but assumed that we would set the date at a later time. Meanwhile, we were planning to meet up for dinner - at least, what I thought would just be dinner. I took some time to mull over the topic she had said the interview would center around but hadn’t come up with anything concrete.

So you can imagine my surprise when I found out after dinner that interview day was - well, that very same day.

A cascade of thoughts and questions flooded my mind - "What am I going to say? I’m not prepared for this. I haven’t thought through this - and this is an interview!!"

But I didn’t have a choice. So I sat back and prayed, asking God for the words to say and the wisdom to speak truth.

As my friend asked the first questions and I began to answer, I can truly tell you that I couldn’t have spoken those words on my own. It was evident that the words I was speaking had a purpose, even when I didn’t think they could. Even when I hadn’t thought it through. Even when I wasn’t ready.

That conversation ended up being one of my most favorite, beautiful, and raw conversations of the entire semester, maybe even the entire year. The blessing was received on my end 10x more than I believe others will receive from it. And I was able to have an honest, heart-heart conversation with my dear friend.

And guess what - I didn’t plan it.

I didn’t think it through.

I didn’t have the words to say.

But, living in the moment, I was provided with all I needed to make it a meaningful and beautiful one.

Friends, this isn’t just limited to conversations. It’s when my friends have texted unexpectedly; when I’ve met someone randomly or bumped into a buddy on campus - those moments make up our lives. And sometimes, there is so much more meaning to be found in the unplanned, in the unexpected. If we would allow ourselves to live as our authentic selves, if we would approach the world without the need to prove or present a front, if we would simply come to the world with our unique perspectives and the honesty of our day-to-day - we might just receive that beautiful authenticity back, all while bypassing the anxiety that robs us of our experiences, our identities, and our joy.

But living in the moment, I was provided with all I needed to make it a meaningful and beautiful one.

Sometimes, we need help breaking the cycles of worry and anxiety that steal our carefree joy. Because let’s be honest, this world isn’t a carefree place. It’s not anxiety-free. And sometimes, we struggle with health or physical issues that don’t allow this to be a possibility for us. Friend, what I want to tell you is that is ok. It’s ok to need that help, it’s ok to plan and prepare yourself for what you know you have ahead - but if you can, please don’t let it steal the joy of living, the joy of being, the joy of taking the moments as they come and not feeling the need to prove something to anyone - because you don’t have to. You are already enough. And in the moments where you don’t feel like enough, remember the One that carries you - He is enough. And His gift to you is most tangibly felt in those moments of unpreparedness and anxiety. Let Him take your burdens, and so you can walk more fully in the moments that life has gifted you with on this earth. We can’t afford to miss them, and you never know which one might change your day - or your life - for the better.

Joyfully yours,

Bel