Loving the closest thing
I believe the first step to living joyfully is fully loving the person that you are most familiar with on this planet.
You know, that person you live with and see 24/7. The one that shares a room or a bathroom or even a bed. The one that sits with you all day every day, and pesters you at any and all times. The one whose thoughts you are intimately acquainted with, and whose secrets you are keenly aware of. The one with the quirks you can’t stand, with the guilts and mistakes you can’t get over. The one that you have dreams and hopes for, and the one whose pain you feel most deeply and personally. The one that sits in your chair and uses your computer and attends your classes. The one with the anxieties and frustrations you sense too much for comfort. The one that you may scold bitterly and hide from regularly. The one whose eyes are reading these words.
Yes, you.
We can’t embrace a joyful life until we learn to live with, reckon with, and think with ourselves. Until we learn to love ourselves.
This love can’t be substituted for the appreciation and love of other humans. Because let’s be honest, most people don’t know the real you. They can only see a side; a sprinkle here and a sprinkle there. Most won’t even take the time to learn and love a little deeper.
A joyful life must start with an understanding of who we are and our value in the eyes of God, no matter what this world says you are. This understanding must give birth to a self-respect that allows us to live with and despite ourselves. That self respect may not translate into love at first sight, but over time you can begin to appreciate the gifts, talents, and uniqueness that you have to offer the world. Then, you can begin to see yourself for the wonderfully unique, complex, and beautiful person you are - you can begin to really, really love yourself.
We can’t embrace a joyful life until we learn to live with, reckon with, and think with ourselves. Until we learn to love ourselves.
Love isn’t love if you are busy loving perfection. You aren’t perfect. And you don’t have to love your imperfections. But you aren’t your imperfections. You are simply you. And it’s important that you love yourself for what you’re worth. For the price that’s been paid for you, for the beautifully crafted creation that you are. For the purpose that you hold, and for the future that is promised for you.
Love in spite of your imperfections.
And this isn’t a selfish love. It’s not a me-me-me show or a self-importance fantasy. It’s a love that comes from an identity that’s been given to us; from what Someone has already poured into us, not from ourselves. Because it’s given to us, this love prompts us to give more as we become acquainted with it personally. Once we love ourselves, accepting love from others becomes easier, and giving love becomes second nature. Because we’ve known love for ourselves. We recognize the love that’s been given to us from on High, we recognize the capacity to love that we’ve been given, and we’ve invested in our ‘love cup’ instead of waiting for others to fill it with empty promises. And once we’ve invested in our love cups we can pour real love into others’ empty cups.
That doesn’t mean that those who are sharing have ‘made it.’ It's just the beginning of the journey. And in giving, we only allow our cups to be filled, to grow in capacity, and then be filled again - filled until they overflow and spill unto others.
That’s the beautiful thing about love - there’s no limit to its growth. And it’s contagious.
Let that growth first begin with you.
Joyfully yours,
Bel
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